Episode #82: This is Our Divine Feminine Moment with Kenlyn Kolleen

HERstory: A Glimpse of My Vulnerable Awakening Journey

I didn’t plan on being a transformation and healing coach for women all over the world. Far from it…


Living my authentic truth has come through many life experiences, plot twists, and initiations.


Now let’s take it back from the beginning…


Two weeks past my due date, I entered this world as a red head with a fiery entrance. It turns out that would be reliable “Lindsay Fashion” throughout much of my life. I was ready to take on the world. As a toddler, I was a wild child and loved to explore, while being endlessly curious about this beautiful thing called life.


Then came my first initiation.

Trauma came to teach me.


As my mother was being initiated in her own way; I, too, faced darkness. Out of my parents’ sight, I nearly drowned as a toddler. After my mother got news of her mother transitioning in a car accident, I was left alone long enough to almost cut my life short. Saved by my dog, MacGyver, who made sure it wasn’t my time to leave the planet, I came through with no memory of this until much later and a deep affection for animals. Unified with the animal who brought me back from the grips of death, my love for all beings was crystallized. I now realize this was the first initiation into my soul’s calling. I met more of myself through almost losing myself, and it became inherently clear that I was saved by the Divine within me to live my purpose.


I grew up a vibrant kid, raised in a Catholic household by parents who worked hard to give me a good life. I took every chance that came to get my hands dirty and try new things. In high school, as with most youthful experiences, discovering who I was came through the people around me and innate curiosity. I sought after success and the approval of others, which came with its ups and downs. Suffering from terrible cystic acne, I had braces and began dyeing my hair blonder. High school was a time I began to change my outside appearance to fit in. Looking like everyone else felt like the way out of pain. Being approved of felt like the most important thing. I started becoming less happy and more stressed, reflected in my physical body and drive to be approved of. The internal pressure was a lot to navigate.


Firing through school with a desire to learn and succeed, I went to college at the age of seventeen. For no other reason than thinking “this was the next right thing to do”, college was a logical next move while being influenced by others around me. I chose a career in Environmental Engineering, mostly to prove to the world that I could do it. I wanted to be good enough, by whatever standards I could. After all, setting myself up to defy the odds in an industry male dominated “would show them”. Where this hunger for proving myself came from, I’m still not quite sure. What I do know is that it sure drove me.


My life was like any many other college students. Learning was fun, experimenting with being an adult and socializing took up a lot of time. I studied, I did well, I wanted to succeed. I had blossomed out of awkwardness and felt more confident, although I was still insecure. Youthfulness was bringing new independence, new freedom and new questions. Being focused helped me discover more about myself over time. I had continued to develop one of my closest highschool friendships I can imagine with a girl who lit up every room, had a loving spirit and felt like my person. Her name was Nikki.


Then, everything changed for me.
My best friend was in a deadly car accident. After parting ways, her in one car and me in another, I made it home safely and she was gone. Another initiation.


I couldn’t make sense of anything. The questions with no answers plagued me. Why her? Why not me? I began to question everything. About life, about death, about what holds real meaning and how to make sense of anything. The idea of God I had grown up with didn’t give me the answers I sought; I felt lost and spirituality didn’t hold the answers I thought it was supposed to. It was a dark time.


Nikki’s mom, Joy, gave me the book “Many Lives, Many Masters” by Brian Weiss. I began to dismantle everything I knew around my beliefs, particularly around religion. I began to get curious and remain open. It was the only way I knew how to grieve and heal, through the mind. This book initiated my healing journey with the loss of my friend, coming face to face with living and dying, and understanding immortality in brand new ways. It served its purpose at the time, however briefly; not long after, I went right back to being a college student in my 20’s. I lost touch with my spirituality, yet again.


I graduated cum laude and got hired as an engineer by a reputable global firm. My hard work had gotten me the label I wanted in a position I could shine. I had made it. I was working as an environmental engineer and climbing the corporate ladder quickly. I found myself thriving in this demanding field, making money and notoriety in this high intensity, male dominated industry… Yet something just wasn’t right.


From the outside looking in, I was succeeding, but behind closed doors, my energy was low and I was truly exhausted. I was overworking, emotionally eating and drinking wine at night to de-stress. The approval of others fueled me, I wore busy like a badge of honor and I didn’t really know who I was. The stress, cystic acne, painful periods, brain fog, lethargy and chronic hormone imbalance issues were part of my everyday battle.


My body was in crisis and the messages were coming in clearly that something had to change. My confidence plummeted as I was looking for answers without finding any. I didn’t know what to do when the symptoms got stronger. No medical professionals I was seeing could do anything to help me. I was going from doctor to doctor, traditional medicine to specialist, one after the other. I finally had a friend recommend a Doctor of Oriental Medicine (DOM).


This was another threshold moment, a time where everything changed.


After ten years of trials and tribulations, my DOM shared that I would not be able to conceive a child at that time due to my low hormone levels, which put me into an even more vulnerable place after the physical symptoms and pain continued to increase. Newly engaged to my now-husband, I was devastated.


My DOM calmed me and gave me confidence, teaching me how to begin to listen to my body’s wisdom and access its natural healing ability.


I started on this path of self discovery and healing slowly began to happen through my relationship choices, what I consumed, my products, my food, my thoughts, my beliefs… Through every challenge that arose, I was given an opportunity to make new choices and live for me, not for anyone else.


During this time I discovered pole fitness as an outlet and means to connect with myself, and eventually began to perform and teach. I loved connecting with my body through sensual movement and helping other women reclaim their confidence, femininity and power.


I decided it was time to quit corporate and live a life that nurtured me. I was scared. I also knew that I would never get to the other side of this valley of despair and failing wellbeing and lack of self worth unless I did what scared me.


I was ready to live the life I imagined beyond the grips of fear.


On my quest to find safer products that worked with my body and supported me in overcoming the physical challenges plaguing me, I discovered what would be a completely life changing organization. The activist, advocate, and disruptive beauty brand, Beautycounter, turned out to be the magic elixir for my body to remember its inherent wisdom. The symptoms that had brought me to my knees started slowing down, then ultimately stopped altogether. I could barely believe it. Tuning into myself brought me the answers I had been looking for from the outside for so long.


I decided to link arms with this company as I was deeply connected to their mission of educating consumers about the lack of regulation regarding our personal care products. This lack of regulation was a contributing factor in my health decline and plummeting self esteem on every level. I knew I wasn’t the only one. Not only were we educating, we were meeting with legislators and changing laws…. Not just talking the talk, but walking the walk. This was a cause I could stand behind with my natural enthusiasm and care.


Within just six months of beginning my holistic healing journey, I was able to reverse all of my symptoms and I became medication and symptom free, vibrant, fulfilled, full of vitality, and thriving. My business with Beautycounter also began to explode in the best way possible. My confidence and belief in myself skyrocketed. I was helping women and men find safer product solutions and mentoring women as they started their own lucrative, mission-based businesses. I was simply sharing what I loved, sharing what I believed in. I was sharing my story.


The abundance continued to flood in.


Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I was sky high. Still, I could feel that something was missing. I felt an urge to re-read “Many Lives Many Masters” and the messages in it hit me in a whole new way. There was more waiting to be discovered in me, now that I was connected to my body beyond the drive to manage pain. I was ready to listen more closely. It was at this time that a dear friend connected me to her spiritual teacher. In this community, I rediscovered how to connect to my highest spiritual self for the first time. Once again, it felt like a homecoming.


I learned how to step into the vibrational essence that is ME. I learned how to take care of my body even more, and leverage my body to access my soul. I learned how to listen and work with my body’s wisdom through embodiment, somatic practices, breathwork, moving meditation, and beyond.


I was discovering how to take care of my body’s vessel on a much deeper level and guide others in the same way, by example, through sharing my experience. Being deeply connected to my body has come through aligning with my soul, facing the wounds, tending to the hurt, nurturing the parts of me asking for attention, affection, and truth telling. I knew in my core this was my calling.


Mentoring was calling me to embody my own experience so that others could discover their own. I became certified in Human Design (after this tool changed the trajectory of my life), a cutting-edge and valuable spiritual tool to realign with exactly who you are meant to be and step into your highest potential. I began teaching women about the practices I had studied and mastered over the years from my own personal healing and transformation in the form of sensual movement, radical self care, movement as medicine through sound and breath, Human Design, how to sync with our body’s natural rhythms, and more. I had found my calling simply through my own lived experiences…


I realized that everything I experienced up until this point is happening FOR me…


It was all part of the Divine plan… The preparation to me connecting with my body, to heal and transform, to align with my highest self.


I have been living this ecstatic path now for five years. After over a decade of failing health and misery, seeing countless doctors and being on various medications, I am a free woman. The physical symptoms were merely a sign from my body that I needed to course correct and start living for ME. Discovering Beautycounter helped me connect me with my body’s wisdom and catapulted me into leadership roles that are truly meaningful. Adding value to myself, others and the planet is the ultimate combination. This company was my stepping stone from walking away from my corporate Engineering role, as I don’t believe I would have had the courage at the time to do it all on my own. Today I am a full-blown entrepreneur, coaching and guiding women to their own healing and transformation all over the world. I truly wake up loving being of service every single day.


From a place of freedom and connected community, accessing my truth and guiding other women in this process of their own has evolved. By facing the darkness, I discovered the light and now have it to shine on others in need.


It’s time to enjoy the beauty and joy along the way of our remembrance. I am so glad you’re HERE.


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Hello glorious one, I’m Lindsay, embodied intuitive, transformation guide, and spiritual mentor.

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